June 9, 2015

TrishBits #9: Why Worry?

Worry doesn’t make tomorrow any easier; it just invites unease into today….

Do you worry yourself sick over what might happen? Why? Seriously, take a moment to explore that question, and dig on down for the real reason. Because almost every client I have worked with has needed some coaching on worry issues. But here are some common reasons why people worry, though they’re all myths:

Myth no. 1: “I worry so that I’ll ‘be prepared for the worst.’” Hmmm. If you are obsessing, then you’ve already passed the stage of useful worry. Really, you’re just inviting ‘the worst’ into today, and every day, when you worry. There is some biological rationale for our human propensity to look around us with alarm – it kept us safe in the wild, long, long ago (and the ill effects didn’t have time to affect our bodies because we lived till, oh, twenty-something). But, you’re activating a fight-or-fight response that serves no useful purpose in your daily life, except to flood your body with stress hormones, contribute to chronic health problems, and deprive you of calm and joy.

Myth no. 2: “If I figure out what might happen, then I’ll be able to prevent it.” This is the insidious illusion of control. Read more about this here. It’s an illusion. Let it go. You are not in charge of what happens next. Revel in the freedom of this belief.

Myth no. 3: “If I expect the worst, then I won’t be disappointed.” Ah, there’s where you’re wrong. In our work with horses, we teach people:

When you lead your horse, walking alongside him with your hand on the lead rope, be sure to look where you want to go. Because where you look is where you’ll go.

So, if you’re looking over your shoulder, expecting the worst, you’re much more likely to find it. If, instead, you cultivate a sense of joyful expectation about your life, you’re much more likely to lead yourself along your right path.

Worry can’t prevent sadness and loss. But it can prevent joy. Today, choose joy.

2 responses to “TrishBits #9: Why Worry?”

  1. Corina says:

    I used to be the master of all kind of worries, but you taught me that peace comes from not creating scenarios:) Now I am just waiting to see what will happen, taking it as an adventure.
    I like your quote from working with horses – “Because where you look is where you’ll go”.

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