I spent this past Saturday morning coaching a smart, powerful, connected woman in the new cathedral-ceilinged arena at Blue Star Ranch. She found herself being crowded a bit by her horse while she did groundwork in the round pen.
Horses will do that; they’ll find your growth edge and sidle right up to it. It’s the magic of working with horses – their sensitivity and their willingness to be in the present moment, always.
That’s what makes boundary work with horses so incredibly powerful.
She took advantage of the perfect opportunity to practice clear, firm boundaries. She sent that horse away with a flick of her wrist as her line flew out to Brando.
As horses do, Brando sensed that she was hesitant. So he turned and came back in with gentle curiosity.
She had another opportunity to get clear AND consistent.
I asked her why she hesitates to insist on what is and is not OK – in the round pen and in her life back home. Her answer: “I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”
As a coach, I hear this worry over and over again. We chatted about it last week on my FREE Teleclass. Check out the recording and the downloadable handout to read more about our ‘excuses’ for not setting boundaries and some good support for finding the inner resolve to move past worry and fear into freedom plus connection in relationships.
As my client practiced setting boundaries with Brando, she noticed that turning her focus on herself, rather than outward on him (or others in her life) got her where she wanted to be: comfortable, clear, free, AND connected. And Brando’s feelings weren’t hurt. At all.
Wishing you the same experience of freedom and connection in all of your relationships!