July 7, 2016

In the Ring with Trish Ring, Ph.D.

In the Ring with Trish Ring, Ph.D.

This is a new feature in our newsletter that gives you a glimpse of what happens in the round pen when clients come to the Ranch for private or small group coaching.  We call it RingLeader Coaching because we work with lots of leaders – in corporate or nonprofit groups, but also leaders of families or communities.  Of course, in our journey through life into wholeness, we all need to develop our abilities to lead our own, inner experience, too.

I loved working with Joe, a recent visitor, in the ring.  He’s uber smart and a savvy educator, so, as he said to me, he’s not used to doing things that he doesn’t already know how to do.  Learning to move Romeo around the ring was new territory for him.  It was the perfect setup for coaching questions:  What’s it like to let go of needing to be good at something?  How much of your self-esteem comes from achievement?  Does your desire to be accomplished interfere with your sense of joy in new experiences?

A bonus question arose, though, that hit close to home.  Romeo (a Danish warmblood who’s a youngster and prone to impulsive quirks) wasn’t as responsive as Joe was hoping for.  As his coach, I asked him, “What’s coming up for you when Romeo goes off and does his own thing?”

Joe replied, “Well, I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong.  Or if there’s something wrong with Romeo…?”

“Where else in your life does this question come up for you?” I asked.

“Oh, gosh – I ask myself that question every day, as a parent.  Am I doing it right?  Am I too hard on my kid, who’s as likely to be distracted as Romeo?  Is there something wrong with me, with him…?”

The ground work with Romeo in the round pen turned out to be the perfect arena for Joe to work through his limiting thoughts – that if it doesn’t go as planned, then something’s ‘wrong,’ for example.  And to practice some flexibility and gratitude (toward himself and toward his horse) when the unexpected arises.  And, to simply have fun, in the ring and as a dad.

Come join us at the Ranch for a day of coaching with the horses.  Because once you start to notice your own patterns, you can change them.  For the better.  And, for the fun.

See you in the ring,

Trish

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